Wisconsin

In spring, Sister noted that she had to travel to Wisconsin for work and then asked if I wanted to join her so we could visit our father and brother. Ambivalence was my response until I returned from our Africa trip when I agreed to go. Sister contacted them and proposed 2 lunches, it seemed reasonable to me. A few days before our trip, she checked in and dad said he was going to be busy for the second lunch. WTF? I hadn’t seen him since 2005 (sister only 2x more than that in this time frame), we’re traveling a full day to and from, spending money to visit, and he’s busy??? This did not put me in a charitable mind set.

Apprehensive at our first lunch at the Best Place in Town to eat (Oconto Dockside), Sister and I fortified ourselves with a cocktail. Being 92 years old has its challenges and it was hard to see dad need double canes to walk slowing from point A to B. Sitting at the table, we easily fell into talk of family and neighborhood friends. We had this well of common memories to draw from and with the 70’s background music, it was a pleasant lunch. Dad announced that he was free for lunch the next day since cancelling his plans. His landlord suggested that dad spend time with his daughters rather than go to a gun show since a gun show happened all the time whereas his daughters visiting did not. I’m glad dad listened to his landlord. We planned for dad and brother to come to our Airbnb for lunch the next day.

After we said goodbye for the day, Sister and I drove around to see where dad used to live (it’s now sporting signs saying anti-Biden, pro-Trump shit) and spent a LONG time at the grocery store gathering food for the next day lunch. We tried to buy local products, I boggled at the Beer Cave, and loved the cheese curd display. In the evening, we drank our Old Fashions and watched “Gilmore Girls.”

The next morning, I walked the country road being careful not to trespass in any way since everyone has guns and aren’t afraid to use them. It was cold and gray but I enjoyed the air and experienced a sloughing of family trauma. I may have cried. After watching a flock of turkeys in the yard, we headed off to the Mennonite grocery store for additional supplies and just for the entertainment aspect of it.

Lunch was pleasant and then we had the hair-cutting event which we will all remember as part of our family history now. When we helped dad into his car, he had multiple guns in the car, because it’s legal and why not? After dad drove away (I don’t think he should be driving), brother asked “can you take me with you?” We sent the men off with left overs, we went on another walk, poured ourselves another Old-fashion and curled up another round of “Gilmore Girls.”

On our last day, we drove to Lena (where our grandparents once lived) to the only cheese shop we could find open on a Sunday morning and purchased goodies for ourselves. We drove back to Green Bay until it was time for me to get on the flight home.

It was an emotionally challenging trip but I’m glad I went. It will probably be the last time I see dad and I doubt I’ll get to Wisconsin again, which is ok with me.