Letters to my Mother – an introduction

A goal set for my last visit to California was to find my journal and photos from my 1991 travels in Australia. Although I found neither, I did find all of the letters that I had written to my mom while living in Saipan in 1990-91. I also found all the negatives for that time frame but alas, no Australia negatives. I seriously wonder why.

I was curious what I had to say back then, so I started reading and found they were very journal-adjacent and would lend themselves to my blog. I wrote in cursive for the most part so if my kids ever did want to read them, they would be lost. I decided to de-code the scribbles from unlined typing paper and digitize for another mode of communication that my kids will never read.

I was surprised how much my memories were accurate and even more surprised when I read about something that I had no memory of at all. I was horrified by some of my white-colonizer musings. Wow, this was evidence that people can change. I’ve learned so much about indigenous people’s experiences and how my old thoughts were very euro-centric. I am so glad I no longer have those beliefs. I removed two paragraphs from these transcriptions because I’m embarrassed by my old beliefs.

In my posts, I’ll have a date and what the letter was written on e.g. lined legal paper, postcard, white unlined paper. At the end, I’ll write any notes I have from a 30-year distance.

This was a cathartic and lovely experience for me. I miss my mom daily and I’m amazed that she kept everything.