We need it, want it, hate it, crave it. Food.
Our initial relationship to food starts with our parents and what their generation said to do with us around food. Breastfeeding, formula, organic: all rules that they believed were the best thing for us. As we grow up those parental decisions continue to shape us whether it’s the all-natural route, the “frozen dinners are a fine option,” or what did we harvest from the fields today? We learn the message of what’s considered good and bad. School curriculum teaches nutrition and health to further shape the basis of our food perception.
Then peers and the media crash into the picture. For girls, it’s imagery of what’s beautiful (am I skinny enough?) and for boys, it’s imagery of what’s strong (am I muscular enough). Advertising holds up what the “ideal” is and how we’re not measuring up, but then offer the solution for this low monthly payment of $19.95.
Eating disorders exist: we eat too much, we eat too little. The 12-step program Overeaters Anonymous can’t be like Alcoholics Anonymous because we don’t HAVE to drink alcohol to survive. AA can have the goal of not drinking alcohol, it’s a black and white deal. We do however HAVE to eat to survive so OA is about these shades of gray of food relationship.
How much time do we spend on food? We think about it, think about not eating it, have to shop for it, have to plan meals, have to prepare meals, have to store leftovers (this last one, not so much if you have a teenage boy around the house). Food can be a consuming force in a day.
I don’t buy sweets and bring them in the house because I will eat all of them. Everything. A cousin has the same issue: bring a carton of ice cream into the house and we eat the whole thing. If I don’t buy it, it’s not in the house, I don’t eat it. It’s very easy that way.
So what do I do when DH brings in leftover cakes from a dinner event? I am trying to fit into my ski pants for an upcoming trip to Alaska. I have to lose 2 lbs and although it doesn’t sound like a lot, it makes a huge difference in whether I’ll be able to breathe AND be warm for a week. So I can’t afford to eat the cake as much as I want to eat the cake.
I look at the cake. There is chocolate, vanilla and something I can’t identify with out tasting. I am torn between wanting to eat the cake and wanting to fit into my ski pants. I know it will taste good and be an immediate satisfaction. But I will have subsequent regret and mental flagellation for my choice. I stood in front of the box several times yesterday. Torment.
Son came home and I told him to eat the cake.
