XKCD is a favorite shared comic between the kids and me. This Every Major’s Terrible created a flurry of activity. First, we all laughed hysterically over the content. Then Son had to find the original Pirates Of Penzance song so he’d know how the song was supposed to to. He found a youtube video to do this.
Then Daughter had to try to sing it herself. In an afternoon, she learned all of the lyrics and couldn’t wait to take her show to school the next day. She also performed the piece for her voice instructor.
Multiple XKCD fans recorded themselves singing the song and posted on youtube. This was the first video up.
Since I’ve been harassing Daughter to pick a major, this was particularly poignant. She suggested that if she performed this for a skit, she would add that the counselor would say at the end: “so, you want to be a theater major.”
Here’s a snippet of the lyrics:
Philsophy’s just math sans rigor, sense and practicality,
and math’s just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality…
A business major’s just a thing you get so you can graduate,
and chemistry’s for stamp collectors high on methylacitate…
Why anyone who wants a job would study lit’s a mystery –
unless their only other choice was something like art history.
A BA in communications guarantees that you’ll achieve
a little less than if you’d learned to underwater basket-weave.
I’d rather eat a Fowler’s toad than major in biology,
and social psych is worse than either psych OR sociology…
The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable.
Just put me down as “undecided” – every major’s terrible.
Now, if you can’t prognosticate, that’s okay in seismology,
but if your hindsight’s weak as well, you’d best stick to theology.
CS will make each day a quest to find a close-paren,
virology will guarantee you never get a hug again.
I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PC’s nonstop.
As Pratchett said, “Geography’s just physics slowed with trees on top.”
Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,
the wiki page for “physics major” redirects to ‘engineer.’
They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,
but all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.
I recognize my four-year plan’s at this point not reparable –
just put me down as “undecided” – every major’s terrible!
Astronomers all cringe when they hear “supermoon” or “zodiac,”
agronomy’s a no-go – I’m a huge agoraphobiac.
I’m too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,
and I can’t stomach any part of gastroenterology.
While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,
a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.
TV’s behind the rush into forensic criminology,
(or so claims meta-academic epidemiology)
By dubbing Econ “dismal science” adherents exaggerate –
the “dismal“‘s fine – it’s “science” where they patently prevaricate.
In terms of choices, I’d say only Sophie’s was comparable.
Just put me down as “undecided” – every major’s terrible!
