Daughter has new freedom by driving herself to events. This has opened up a new world and she is more social now that she can come and go as she’s invited to go places. Because she’s never been social before, we never had to impose a curfew on her. When she does go somewhere, she comes right back with no apparent detours. On Homecoming, she did come home after 2am but it WAS Homecoming and I understood the late return. I hadn’t admonished her afterward to give her indication that perhaps 2am was too late.
Last weekend Daughter goes off to a Halloween party. I didn’t give her a curfew, thinking that when the party broke up, she would come home.
At 3:40am, the (f*cking) cat woke me up for food. Often Daughter is up this late so I wondered if she was still at her computer after returning from the party. She was not at the computer and the car was not in the driveway. What?
Where was she? Where did she go? Who was she with? What was she doing?
My brain went through all scenarios of answers to these questions. Did she not come home because I hadn’t given her a curfew? That was my fault. But I couldn’t get my head around the circumstances of why she wasn’t home. Not many good things happen to a teen outside the house at 3:40 in the morning.
I watched TV in the living room, waiting for the headlights to come up the driveway. Nothing. Every little sound outside made me get off the couch and peer outside at the darkened street.
At 5:30, I got up and started working. The newspaper was delivered at 6:15. At 7am, I decided I was hungry and went into the kitchen where I found a note and the Honda key on the table. I hadn’t noticed the note when I came downstairs to feed the cat because it was so dark. But in the light, the note was in the perfect place for me to see if I had come downstairs in the light.
Long story short: the Honda wouldn’t start when I tried to come home. It is still there; I got a ride from a friend.”
Then she wrote the long story, ending with “Oh yes, and it is locked.”
All the anxiety I had experience for the previous 3 hours was relieved. When she got up I let her know she could always call if something like that happened. She acknowledged that she knew this was true but she wanted to solve the problem without waking us up. I thanked her for writing the note. She was indeed the responsible and smart kid I thought she was.
